Misadventures of the Spiritually Inclined
by aquafina rain
Summary: Koenma would never admit it (out loud), but Yuusuke was the best detective he'd ever had - especially compared to his replacement(s). YYHXSM
1. Chapter 1

01

"Hey, buddy!"

Yuusuke glanced up from the magazine he had been flipping through (only because there was an interview in it somewhere with Jin and Toya, and not because Ruka graced the cover, of course not). A blonde girl with a big red bow on her head stood at the counter, a glare on her face as she placed her hands on her hips. "Uh, yeah?"

"This the undercover spirit business?" She reached out and rapped her knuckles on the table. Yuusuke put away the magazine, trying to decide whether or not the girl was being rude. Well, a customer _was_ a customer...

"Yeah, you need something, lady?"

"Yeah." The blonde splayed her fingers out as she leaned forward, slapping the counter this time. Yuusuke stared. "You need to shut that shit _down_."

"What the hell?" While he had been curious earlier, now he was just annoyed. He turned his back onto her, flipping on the television. "Get out of here before I get angry."

"I'm just warning you!" the blonde said. Yuusuke glanced over his shoulder to see that she was practically all over the counter. "See, I got a girl who's in the business too, so you need to pack up your things and get on out—"

"You've got to be kidding," Yuusuke said. He rolled up the magazine and started swatting at her. "Get off my counter, you batshit crazy—"

"—and no matter how much you pout your juicy little lips and blink those pretty brown eyes at me, I won't be afraid to put my foot down and kick your ass outta town!"

Yuusuke _stared_. "The _hell_ did you just say to me?"

"You heard me." The girl stood back, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"Okay, first of all, if your friend was really that good, she shouldn't be having problems with business," Yuusuke said. "Second, you're the craziest—"

"Ugh, there you are."

Both Yuusuke and the blonde girl turned as the cover to the ramen stand lifted. A girl with dark hair and the oddest eyes stepped in, glancing around calmly. "Ramen again, Minako? You're going to die of a heart attack."

"Am not!" Blondie—Minako—protested. "Ami said my heart was doing fine, thank you very much. And how dare you accuse me of scrounging for food when I'm here to defend your honor?"

So this was the other girl? She didn't seem like she was that special. Then again, he wasn't exactly the spokesperson for Reikai either... Yuusuke gave her a look-over as she raised her eyebrows at her friend. Well, she was hot, at least. "Defending my honor?"

"Hey, the Goddess of Love has _always_ got your back, Rei-chan." Blondie winked. Rei-chan rolled her eyes gloriously. Yuusuke assumed she did that often. "Anyway, this guy said he'd back off, so we're all good to go."

"Alright, lady, I don't care, I'm about to kick your ass," Yuusuke retorted once he caught her words. He gave her the ugliest look she could manage; she recoiled, eyes wide, clutching Rei's arm. Rei, however, yanked her arm away.

"You're kidding. After I already told you I don't have time for your stupid detective thing—"

"But Rei-chan," Minako whined. Rei cut her off abruptly.

"If you're so interested, why don't you do it yourself?"

Minako's lower lip wobbled. "Because I thought it was something we could do _together_..."

"Mina—"

"Besides, I can't even see the damn things," Minako quipped with a scowl on her face. "It's so _unfair_, why do black-haired people get all the fun?"

Rei rolled her eyes again. She glanced at Yuusuke, who was staring at them with the utmost expression of bewilderment. "I apologize for my friend, if she's said anything stupid to you."

"Uh," Yuusuke said, blinking. This wasn't at all what he'd expected. "Yeah, whatever. Just don't do it again."

Rei looked like she wanted to say something. Instead she looked back at Minako disdainfully. "You are so embarrassing."

"Just the way you like it," Minako said, flipping her emotions in a complete 180. Yuusuke wondered if that was healthy. "Anyway, Urameshi, right? I hope this doesn't mean we have bad blood, you know, 'cause I'd love to eat here one day."

She smiled at him, blinking her large blue eyes. Yuusuke scowled.

"Sure, you can eat here. I'll just charge you up the ass for everything you order."

Minako gaped. "Hey, what happened to our truce?!"

"What truce? I never signed anything!"

"Oh come on, don't tell me you weren't taken in by my pretty blue eyes—"

"Rei-chan, whatever your name is," Yuusuke said, "you'd better get your friend out of here before I hurt her."

"It's Hino," Rei said flatly, giving him a sullen look. "And don't boss me around. Minako, come on."

"Ouch, Rei!"

Yuusuke watched as Rei grabbed Minako and dragged her out of her seat. She proceeded to yank the blonde down the street, ignoring her—but before Yuusuke could dismiss the two as random weird girls, Rei glanced over her shoulder to look at him. He wasn't a psychic like Kuwabara, and he was nowhere near as intuitive as Hiei or Kurama, but he could have sworn that he felt something in that gaze of hers.

Just as abruptly as the moment had come, it passed when Minako spotted another ramen stand across the street. "Dude, Rei, you totally have to treat me after I saved your ass from last time!"

"Ugh," Rei grumbled as she broke eye contact and followed after her friend. Yuusuke scratched his cheek absently, wondering what that feeling was.

"Woah, who were _they_?"

Yuusuke blinked as Keiko flopped down into the vacant seat in front of him. He turned around and immediately began making her usual. "Some crazy chicks, I dunno, got on my nerves and didn't even order anything."

"Hmm," Keiko said, cupping her chin in her hands. "Maybe you really are getting popular, Yuusuke. Better cut it out before you put my family out of business."

"Yeah right, like I'd let that happen." Yuusuke flashed her a grin as he started slicing the pork. "I'd rather buy your shop so we could run it together."

Keiko was silent. Yuusuke paused, turning to face her. Her face was bright red.

"Hey, you okay? You're—"

"Shut up!" Keiko squeaked, patting her cheeks while looking everywhere except for at him. "You're burning my noodles!"

Easily distracted, Yuusuke whipped back around. She was right. "Ack! Sorry, Keiko!"

"Idiot," Keiko mumbled, but she was smiling all the while.

* * *

**an **just a series of shorts dealing with yuusuke, his ramen stand and the senshi. maybe there'll be a plot later, maybe not. standard disclaimers apply. enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

02

"If you ignore her, she'll go away," Rei said once she realized that Hotaru was openly staring at the ferry girl floating above her head. Around them, passersby seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there was a girl sitting mid-air atop an oar, whining at the top of her lungs. Hotaru nodded slowly, bringing her attention back to the priestess.

"Well, I was just wondering if it was okay—"

"Please please _please_, Hino-san, _please_! I'm begging you!"

Hotaru found herself staring at the ferry girl again, who was now floating upside-down in Rei's face. Rei was doing an outstanding job of pretending that she wasn't there.

"If you say no, I'll get fired!" the ferry girl continued, clasping her hands together.

"Was there something you wanted, Hotaru-chan?" Rei asked through gritted teeth. Her eyebrow twitched just the slightest. Hotaru couldn't help but tilt her head as she studied the ferry girl.

"You know," she said slowly as the ferry girl started spinning in a circle around them. "That kimono looks like one of Setsuna-mama's designs."

The ferry girl froze. Then she dove right down in front of Hotaru, landing deftly on her feet. She clutched her oar in front of her, grinning almost maniacally. "You can see me!"

Hotaru blinked. "Well—"

"That's absolutely perfect!" the ferry girl gushed, her eyes bright and shiny. "It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Botan. Would you consider becoming a detective for Reikai?"

"Oh give it up," Rei finally snapped, grabbing Botan by the ear and yanking her back. "Have you no shame?"

"None whatsoever," Botan chirped, despite the fact that she could no longer feel her ear. "Koenma-sama says that's something I need to work on."

"I'm not interested," Rei said hotly. "She's not interested. No one's interested, Botan, go home!"

"I can't without you!"

Hotaru sheepishly smiled at the couple that walked by; they were staring at Rei, wondering what the hell she was doing, grabbing at air. Of course they would. Botan was a spirit, so they couldn't see that Rei was shaking her in probably looked insane to them; hell, Hotaru could see everything that was going on and thought the priestess was losing it. "R—rei-san, maybe we should—"

"Yes, let's!" Botan cheered, unaffected by Rei's glower. "We should get out of here and discuss matters privately!"

"We are _not_—"

"Can't you at least give me a reason why?"

Rei pursed her lips, releasing Botan. She stared at her for a moment, her eyes narrowed. Then she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "I'm busy."

"You can make time!"

"We should really get out of the street," Hotaru suggested, only to be ignored. She sighed, watching as Botan actually dropped down to her knees.

"Hino-saaaaan," she wailed. "Pleeeease, the future of Reikai depends on you!"

"What happened to your last detective?" Rei replied sourly, tugging her skirt away from Botan's hands.

"Oh, him, pfft," Botan huffed, waving the question away. "He's old news. You're what we need, Rei-chan!"

Rei wondered how she went from 'Hino-san' to 'Rei-chan' in less than five minutes. She opened her mouth to tell Botan off when Hotaru successfully cut through their conversation. "That _is_ one of Setsuna-mama's designs, isn't it? I can tell from the peony on the back."

Botan and Rei both stared at her, having forgotten she was there. Then Botan glanced down at her kimono. "Oh, this old thing? I got it from a boutique in Reikai, it's not something you'd see in the human world." She paused before adding, "But if you come with me to Reikai and talk to Koenma-sama, I can totally take you there after! Meiou Boutiques, it's one of a kind!"

"You're kidding," Rei said, blinking. She grabbed Botan's sleeve and lifted it, studying the fabric. "Setsuna-san really made this?"

"I didn't know she had a shop in Reikai," Hotaru pouted. "She's always so secretive, ne."

"You _know_ Meiou-san?" Botan's eyes widened. "Is Setsuna her human name? She's so mysterious, no one knows anything about her except that her designs are super cute! I like her more simple ones, especially for work, but she's got really glamorous ones, too, Ayame-san has some of them somewhere deep in her closet—"

"The peony is a nice touch," Rei complimented, nodding her head in agreement.

"Isn't it?" Botan's eyes almost sparkled. "There was another one like this, with a spider kiku, it was gorgeous but it didn't really suit me. Maybe you should take a look!"

"Rei, Hotaru, what are you guys doing on this side of town?"

The two girls in question blinked, turning to the young man in the green blazer. "Oh, Mamoru," Rei said. "I was just doing some shopping, and I ran into Hotaru-chan here."

"Hello!" Hotaru bowed, greeting him politely. Mamoru inwardly squealed; his future daughter's best friend was always so well-mannered. He took a moment to appreciate Chibiusa's choice in friends (which were a million times better than her choice in boyfriends).

"Doing some shopping for Usagi?" Rei asked, raising an eyebrow at the bag of pastries Mamoru carried. Mamoru actually rolled his eyes.

"She specifically requested donuts for dinner. I tried telling her no, but—"

"Let me guess, she used the sad eyes?"

"She used the sad eyes," Mamoru sighed. Rei and Hotaru both looked at him in pity; no one could ever resist Usagi's sad eyes.

"Ooh, who's this guy?" Botan asked, poking Rei in the cheek. Rei elbowed her harshly, hoping Mamoru didn't notice the odd gesture. She had forgotten what Botan was actually there for; hopefully Mamoru wasn't unlucky enough to be able to see spirits as well.

"Oh?" Mamoru blinked, glancing at Botan. "I apologize, I didn't mean to ignore you. My name is Chiba Mamoru."

Rei smacked her forehead. Hotaru smiled nervously. Mamoru blinked.

"What, did I say something wrong?"

"This," Botan whispered, her eyes wide with glee as she pictured Koenma-sama giving her a month's vacation for finding three spiritually astute humans less than a week, "is the best day of my _life_."

* * *

**an** i love botan and her cotton candy color scheme.

NeoMiniTails: i'm glad you enjoyed it! i was trying to channel more of manga rei, but as you can see in this one, she loses her cool a bit. i suppose even super cool hino-sama has her limits, too, ne? i can't understand the hate against keiko either haha she's the only one who could ever put up with yuusuke's ish. i'm actually planning for some keiko and makoto bff interactions, but that's for later. ;) thanks for reading!

Boingy: thank you for reading! i totally agree about hiei and usagi; that's definitely a meeting i'll have to write later, as well as the rest of the senshi and the reikai gang. i personally have some great ideas for minako and kuwabara hahaha. anyway, i hope you still enjoyed it! :)

thanks for reading! xoxo


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